My Valentine’s Day was complete! I had a great girl’s day out with myself topped off by a great dinner, beautiful flowers from hubby and a Valentine’s cake (from me – to hubby – FOR me!) What really made my night was a mid-evening call from my college kid wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day!
Our conversation then turned to him, school and his plans for the evening with his girlfriend. He was planning to take her out to dinner, but what he really wanted to do was break up with her.
ON VALENTINE’S DAY???? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Now, I’ve been broken up with on Valentine’s Day and let me tell you – it sucks! Me and my boy had a conversation about the why’s, the what happened and the when it would be okay to break it off. As we were talking, I realized that we were having a real adult conversation about real feelings and expectations of others and how we all deserve happiness. And then I realized it was with my kid. This kid who, until recently, our conversations usually ended with me thinking: “I’m tired of parenting. I’ll be really glad when he’s an adult.”
During this conversation I realized that I was giving him advice on how to have a difficult conversation with humility, how to deal with heartbreak and how we all deserve to do what’s best for us even when its hard for others. What surprised me most about this conversation was that in the words of this newly 21 year old young man were all the years of advice and lessons that we have tried to pour into him. This, I realized, is the moment that every parent hopes for – when you can hear your words spoken back to you! This is your ROI! I realized at that moment that he has become that person (or version of that person) that I had always hoped he would. A respectable, compassionate person who cares about the impact of his decisions. He had finally become a man!
I listened, gave advice but mostly listened. He’s smart this one. And a nice guy too. I’m so proud! We ended our call with “I love you” and that was that.
A call at 10:45 woke me up with a voice shrieking “That was the worst advice ever! I should have broken it off and not spent my money on dinner and bowling! She’s the worst with a terrible attitude! I was on a double date and I was embarrassed! I wanted to tell her off in front of everybody! I can’t wait til tomorrow! We’re done!”