Who Is Your She?
How Do You Identify Your She?
My She Was a Bride
As a young girl growing up in Gary, In, I used to collect bridal magazines. I would spend endless hours looking at the dresses, identifying “my style” and even choosing my bridesmaids’ (hideous) dresses. They were my absolute favorite magazines!
My She Was a Wife
Among my four closest friends in college, I was voted to be the first to get married and have a baby. As I approached my late 20’s and wanted to buy a condo by myself, my mother told me that I’d better hurry up and get married because every girl needs a husband.
My She Was a Mother
Once I got married at 31, I the question “When are you all going to have kids” was asked to me more times than I choose to remember. What’s my point to all of this? As girls, we are taught from a young age what is expected of us as women:
- Get married, preferably to a man to
- Have kids
- Live happily ever after
Who Is She – Really?
I often wonder what my life and the lives of women in general would look like if we created our own female identity.
- Would we really rush to the alter to trade our father’s name for our husband’s when most of us would really be quite happy by ourselves? (Not me of course honey.)
- Would we really WANT butt shots (which for the life of me I can’t understand why this is even a consideration) if we didn’t care what men thought?
- Would we really be too embarrassed to talk about sex, enjoying sex toys or even watching porn if we weren’t taught that “good girls don’t do that kind of thing?
If we could create our own female identity how would we see ourselves? If we were free to be whomever we chose to be, what would we be? I think we need to begin to consider this conversation so that we can encourage our daughters and nieces to be their authentic selves. To enjoy being smart more than sexually objectified. To embrace being a career focused executive who doesn’t want kids and understand that that doesn’t make you selfish or empty. To embrace your sexuality and sexualness and know that it’s not sinful.
If you could be you with no societal boundaries or expectations, who would you be? How would you identify your she? I’m still editing my she as I go…