I consider the brutality of common practices of hair removal right up there with water boarding. Why is it acceptable for us women to endure the pain of ripping hairs out of undesirable places on our bodies? I really do not understand why hair became the enemy – but it is.
Like every other girl I know, I have a standing appointment at the eyebrow threading kiosk in the mall to have a young lady stand over me with a piece of thread hanging from her mouth and proceed to snatch out the hairs that have somehow gotten out of line and had the unmitigated audacity to grow on my brow. Well, we show them as she meticulously twists the thread to impolitely remove them from their place. Yes, every two weeks I’m there at this face torture chamber only to leave with teary eyes, a hint of the pain of the 3 minute experience and a freshly groomed face.
Now as if that experience was not bad enough, I recently bought a Groupon deal for a bikini wax. I have no idea why I think that this is a good idea and that it won’t leave me emotionally scarred. Just the thought of having my pubic hairs forcibly removed makes my stomach turn, but I bought it anyway and I have made my appointment.
I’ve thought about video taping the experience, but I’m not sure anyone else would even want to see that. I will document my trauma however, not because I think anyone cares, but simply so that I can have a record of my decent into insanity. If anyone has any advice for me, words of caution or the desire to talk sense into me, feel free to comment! For everyone else, pray for me!